There’s another benefit to not fighting back, which is this: if you know you can’t win, either because of physical or situational coercion, you can just leave your body.You just let it happen to the meat and send your mind somewhere a thousand miles away, where none of this is real.He can believe this even if he also believes it’s ok to restrict women’s access to public life and pay them wages that deny the value of their work. They are not good partners, bosses, brothers, or friends. I do think these men should feel good about not being murderers and rapists, and then immediately stop feeling good, because everyone should shoot for more in life than “I’m not a murderer or a rapist.”Pushing the speech associated with this hate back offline serves to comfort a certain set of women, of which I am a member. But it doesn’t stop the culture of gendered violence, often against women, that motivated this bullshit in the first place.
The violence against women is so prevalent that we live in a culture where if a man doesn’t believe it’s ok to rape, beat, and kill women, he can believe he is a good guy.“It’s just talk,” I am told, “You need a a thick skin.” Inevitably this is said by people who clearly would not last a week in my threat-riddled public life.But not all of these men will settle for silencing women.What we see on Twitter and in comments, what women are starting to talk about on their blogs in and public spaces, is a symptom of a breathtaking problem.Somehow men are learning that it’s ok to rape, beat, and even kill women, simply because they are women. Sometimes they strut their stuff in social media, and more dangerously, they usually don’t.